Why Don’t I Just Quit?

“Why don’t you just let it all go and live a normal life, Angelo?” I’ve been asked this question by my wife, my mother, and others closest to me, as they have all seen the toll I have paid mentally and physical for being part of this “struggle.” The answer to this question is simple: I can’t shut it off. There is no way in hell I could remain silent and go live a normal life knowing what I know about this world and how bad it could really get if someone doesn’t do something about it; it’s simply not in my nature to do so.

This stubborn desire to stop evil isn’t something new. Since I was a small boy, I remember thinking that I was “sent” here to do something important, mostly to save the world and defend people from the “bad guys.” I remember I would be the last person in my house to go to bed because I felt I had to protect my family from the “monsters” that could get them if no one was watching. This desire to be vigilant and protect others from evil has always been part of me and stems from my warrior nature—this subconscious driver was one of the main reasons I ended up joining the Marine Corps later in my life.

But who am I to think I’ve been “sent” here to do something important? One could understand this mindset coming from naïve, small boy living in a superhero fantasy world, but I still feel this way at age 36. And what does “being sent” here mean? Who sent me? Of course sometimes I think I am crazy, but you have to be somewhat crazy if you enjoy going against the grain, taking the hits, and standing up to the powers that be. Perhaps it is a sign of megalomania or delusions of grandeur, but I truly feel this way. I have always been a loner and felt that I didn’t belong in this world. Rather than wanting to be part of a crowd or the center of attention, I’d rather sit back and observe the crowd or the events taking place from a distance. I am an introvert and like to spend a lot of time in my head thinking of how to improve things, including myself. I have always had a curious mind, and most importantly, always wanted to know the truth. I remember as a boy, anytime I went to see the doctor for a visit I’d ask him what he was doing and why, along with what each instrument was and how they worked. He was impressed with my curiosity and was more than happy to educate me. This curiosity stems from philosophical nature.

And this is the main theme of this article: it is my nature to be here and do what I do, regardless how big or small my role is or my impact has been (if any), and I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. I feel it is my destiny to fight those who are doing harm to this world and the people in it, no different than a person who feels that they should be an ER surgeon and save people’s lives. But my analytical ego will always come around and asks: How are you fighting these evil people? Have you done anything worthwhile? Sometimes I feel that I have; other times I feel that I have not. But judging solely by how my enemies react to what I say and do, and how they are obsessed with stalking, threatening, and defaming me, I think I am on the right path. But I know deep down I have yet to truly reach my full potential and achieve whatever it is I was “sent” to do. And I believe we shall see the warrior and philosopher, who live within me, merge into one in the near future when I get involved in American politics. Will I then become the man I meant to be, this sentinel sent to protect his fellow citizens from the Parasite Class ruling from the shadows? Only time will tell. All I know is that it will get ugly, it will be a very bumpy road, but I know I am built to endure such hardships, for fighting to good fight is simply in my nature.